Bullying By the Book
Bullying is a curse for any person, of any age, as it is a deliberate and focused attack upon the character and self esteem of another human being. It can happen in any number of ways, bullies like to intimidate, and once their subject is in a timid state, they can then assert their dominance. This can happen on a physical level with beatings, on an intellectual level with rational counter-productive arguments against character , or on an emotional level in which a bond is formed and then broken over and over via the use of name calling, accusations, and/or neglect to care.
The bullying subject begins to get acclimatised to the behaviour of others and they start to learn that this kind of behaviour is acceptable in life. They then therefore do not act against it in future, but accept it as a part of social interaction. This is how we become unwell, and possibly even become bullies ourselves as if we begin to treat the behaviour as normal then for us to do it also, it feels normal. Give as good as you get can only really work in two people, and not among the whole. Person C has nothing to do with person B, so don't take the feelings from C to B when we are A. It's difficult to maintain a base line of understanding and it is important to always be on the feel for slights and gists which could point out our errors of judgement.
One thing that causes bullying is the fact that the other person has some kind of aggressive reaction to another person. This could be for any number of reasons, but a lot of them are based on the fact that they feel the other person should or ought to be doing something differently. People who like certain clothes may be bullied into wearing other ones, people who like a certain artist may be peer pressured into denying it and pretending to like someone else. This sort of thing happens a lot.
The media has been defining men, women, boys, and girls since it began. By suggesting what we want, and who we are, we are given images of the ideal version of ourselves according to the retailer or sponsor. This is fine if the projections are accurate but more so now they are becoming pushed further to extremes. The definition of what a boy likes and what a girl likes, and how they behave, and interact has caused parents, teachers, and siblings that certain behaviour is wrong, or needs to be altered. The way psychological profiling has been done to such a general standard means that what is right and what is wrong according to the book no longer has anything to do with how well we behave in general but the way we behave at all. It's not about love and hate any more but about right and wrong, and what is right for one person is totally dependent on them.
We're not talking criminal cases here, this is way of life, thinking patterns, friendship styles, ways of communicating how we feel, the emotional reaction to various triggers, all of these things are unique to the person and mustn't be accredited to one type. We are all so complicated and inside there are so many ways we can be wired. Good and heartfelt action is not dependent on anything but the intention, and what colour we like, what we like to wear, and how we like to think have got nothing to do with that.
It is important that we stop defining people so generally, and then comparing how we are to the written points. It seems that we have it backwards, and it is our points that need to be altered, not our children. Peer pressure and bullying are both types of negative psychological grooming that are counter-effective against the issues that grip our younger generation and beyond.
Rowan Blair Colver for Alternative Fruit
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